Audrey sat next to Jacob on the pier, watching the setting of the sun with both of their feet hovering inches above the water.
She placed her head upon his right shoulder, letting out a contented sigh and felt his arm stretch across the small of her back, holding her close.
“Hey champ,” she asked, peering up at his green eyes. “What are you thinking about?”
Jacob smiled and blew out a breath of air onto Audrey’s scalp.
“Everything and nothing. Just letting my mind wander to wherever it takes me.”
“Where is it taking you now?” She asked, inhaling in the scent of the ocean.
“Right now? You’ll find that out later.” Jake grinned, catching Audrey looking up at him inquisitively.
“Oh, well I guess I’ll have to be patient then.”
They stared at the sinking sun, watching it’s golden crown turn a deep orange as it hovered near the horizon. A seagull darted across the skies, looking down at them momentarily, cocking it’s head.
“Audrey,” Jacob asked with a gentle squeeze.
“Yes m’lord?”
Jacob gave out a tiny laugh. “Do you ever wonder why we are here? What the point of all this is?”
Audrey raised her head. “Isn’t the meaning of life is to live? Be alive?”
Jacob nodded. “Yes, but I can’t help but wonder why are we here. I sometimes feel like this is too good, too nice where we are.”
“Isn’t that something to be happy about?”
“Yes, but… I was thinking of the old man we saw earlier by the road. Walking without any shoes, hunched over, carrying a bag of empty bottles on his way to the depot. It was at least six or seven miles away and… this part inside of me sank, wondering why can’t he find happiness like we did? Meaning? Purpose? Joy?”
“Abundance, love, beauty, compassion…” Audrey trailed off before resuming her train of thought. “He is living. He is alive. He is doing what he needs to do.”
“But people deserve so much more from life than to chase after money in order to survive don’t you think? If we asked him what he thought his purpose was, what do you think he might say?”
“I don’t know. But he was happy when you gave him some money and offered a ride.”
Jacob sighed. “It was the least we could do and yet all I can think of is what tomorrow brings. What will happen when that money runs out? He will be back to surviving and not living. Not realizing his full potential. Barely able to clothe and feed himself. I get sad thinking about it.”
“Why feel sad?” Audrey asked. “His life is his own. Maybe he is happier than we know.”
Jacob looked down at his legs, feeling the pinch of a mosquito puncturing his flesh. He flicked it off and resumed his thought.
“Maybe he is happy but he deserves more. I can see myself in him. I can feel the rocks of the ground that my feet step on as I walk for hours with a heavy load on my back. I feel the hot sun burning my neck and the sweat going down my face. I see through his eyes and I think I feel much of what he feels. It hurts me whenever I do that and I can’t imagine how it must be for him.”
Audrey placed a hand on Jacob’s wrist. “We don’t know his life. His karma, his reason for being. Who are we to explain any of how he came to be?”
“I agree. It still hurts just the same though. It’s not only him, but every beggar I’ve seen. Every homeless person sleeping on the concrete. Every man, woman and child that is going hungry or unable to afford heat, running water, a roof over their heads.”
Audrey looked at the sun which was halfway dipped into the water, sending out rays of departure and a silent promise to return the next day.
Jacob continued.
“When I talk to them and listen to their stories, it breaks my heart knowing the amount of sadness that they carry. It infuriates me to think that we could easily solve their problems but the government and most people don’t care. They only care about themselves. About their own lives and not so much the lives of others. They speak of the disenfranchised among us as if they are talking about a dog covered in fleas. A problem that exists only as long as they pay attention and once they stop or ignore the person before them, they carry on with their lives as if it were normal to do so and that man becomes little more than a nuisance in their minds. He becomes inhuman, almost. A ghost of flesh going through the motions of living without really living, you know?”
It was Audrey’s turn to sigh. She felt her eyes grow moist as she inserted herself into the picture that Jacob was painting with his words.
“How, how would you solve the homeless problem?” She asked.
Jacob stared off into the distance, collecting his thoughts.
“I would collect funds to build apartment complexes,” he answered. “Anyone who is homeless would qualify for a room with rationed power, clean water, maybe a food bank, medical services and… security, I suppose. In case some are dealing with addictions and want to feel safe and at ease while living there.”
“That is a really good idea,” Audrey responded. “Why can’t you do that?”
“It would take an awful lot of money is why. Money that our government would rather be sending elsewhere. Wasting it on frivolous wars or putting it into the pockets of their friends. Besides, the red tape around bureaucracy would make something so simple end up being complicated and costing even more than it needed to. It would take years to see it finished the way it should be if it ever starts. You know how it is with the corruption going on. Politicians are only out for themselves.”
“So something like socialism would work?” Audrey inquired.
“Something of a mix between. Socialism divides misery equally out among us. It sounds good on paper, but it does not incentive those of us who have found our gifts and want to express them. Capitalism rewards but also corrupts when one has too much control over resources. We need to honor and provide the basics while respecting human dignity and ambition. There needs to be a middle ground.”
Audrey sat silently. Unsure of how to respond. Jacob was passionate about sociopolitical issues while she was not. She didn’t know or much care about how governments worked. Her passions revolved around art, spirituality, making music and being creative. She did not enjoy looking under the hood of the car that she drove. She only wanted it to work as it needed to. Just like how she thought of the government and those that were employed within it.
“Sorry dear, I know you don’t like the subject. But that is what’s on my mind and you asked.” Jacob leaned in, planting a kiss on her scalp.
The sun has set and grey clouds began to turn dark. In the distance, a fishing boat made way to the pier next to them. The chatter of men onboard was difficult to discern but audible as Spanish phrases danced over the water to their ears.
They have been living on the West coast of Mexico for the better part of two years now after having fled their home in Canada. It was a giant leap of faith and one they were glad to take. For the memories they’ve created in this country would last them a lifetime, and the weather was much nicer and pleasant than it was back home. Especially during the winters.
“Jacob,” Audrey stirred from the silence. “Do you think maybe this was meant to be?”
“How so? You mean that the homeless have chosen their fates?”
“I mean that we choose our own fate. Our own paths through life. That as much as it hurts to feel helpless and sorry for those that have less than we do, we can only give thanks for what we have. Every breath we take, like that song and do our very best to give glory and thanks to God who has allowed all this for us to have. Should we maybe consider it that way?”
Jacob nodded. Somewhat slowly.
“I feel guilty at times Audrey. Ashamed that I can’t do enough. Can’t figure out how to fix something that is easy to fix but isn’t able to be fixed, because of the type of world we live in.”
“I understand dear. I do. That is why we must trust in ourselves, in God and be able to see God in the eyes of those who are suffering. Like you already are. Like we do, and realize that when we take upon a larger burden than we can bear, we weigh ourselves down in the process. Our soul can suffer along with them. There is only so much we can do and as long as we do what we can do, this is all we can do. Am I making any sense?”
She looked at Jacob’s face to gauge his reaction and was surprised to see a tear go down his left cheek. It glistened in the moonlight and was quickly wiped away by his hand in embarrassment.
“I…” Jacob faltered. Searching for what he wanted to say. “You are making sense. I agree, but… the problem is not going away.”
“Maybe it will and maybe it won’t, but that is not for you to say. Like I said, all we can do is what we can do.”
“And give glory and thanks to the Creator.”
Audrey stood up, pulling Jacob along with her. Pointing him towards their modest cabin on the beach. They walked in silence, holding hands and hearing the footsteps of one another. Crickets were chirping among them and the moon began to illuminate their path. Casting shadows upon the ground.
They reached the porch and the happy bark of their dog greeted them at the window. Poking it’s black nose into the frame, its eyes bright with recognition and wagging it’s tail.
Audrey reached the door first and placed her hand on the handle, casting a look behind at Jacob who seemed lost in thought.
“Now…” she said with a husky smile, “tell me what you were thinking about earlier.”
She pulled him inside by the buckles of his belt and closed the door.
Giving thanks and glory to God for what they had.
