(note: I am challenging myself to write every day for 30 days. What follows may not necessarily be interesting or even coherent. Parental discretion is advised.)
Day 21… *groans* coming up with ideas of what to write has been a bit of a bothersome obligation it feels, but totally necessary, because I’ve got to do it. Only nine more days to go.
Gosh darn it.
At first I thought, hey maybe I’ll write about giants and the Nephilim but that was tossed aside once I realized how much info I would need to pack in there. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Here’s a picture of a giant, enjoy.
The next idea was, hey I should Google “writing prompts” and do whichever one of these are interesting. I went to this site and promptly shook my head. Nope, no. Those ones are boring. Write a short story about someone in the self-help aisle of a bookstore? Meh. He came, he picked up this book and he left. FIN.
But… What IF I do something a little different? How about if I imagine something totally ludicrous and then write a detailed description of how it could play out in the real world? THAT sounds interesting, and so here I go…
Imagine that you were given the superpower of flying. What could happen to someone if given this power? How would it all play out?
In my case, I’m going to first assume that this power was given to me without my realizing it. I then would have to discover this ability without knowing that I have it. That’s tricky, because when would anybody suddenly know that they can fly? Could be like wet dreams maybe, it just happens.
So, to imagine this, means that one day I begin levitating off of the ground by accident.
Whoa… As Keanu would say.
Then I’m going to wonder what the hell was that all about.
Then, I’ll likely try it again, if it works, I would begin raising myself off the ground higher and higher until I hit the ceiling in my house (obviously not going to be going outside and trying this out in front of witnesses). Once that is accomplished, I’m going to sit cross-legged on the floor and have a serious dialogue with whoever is responsible for giving me this power. Even if I can’t see or hear whatever the source of it is, I will be having a heart-to-heart about why, how and what the point of this all is supposed to be.
Once I emerge from this cocoon of deep introspection, I will drive myself over to the nearest sporting goods store and pick out my outfit. Ski goggles, balaclava, one-piece snow suit and warm boots. All black. Why? Because it’ll be cold up there in the sky, that’s why. Imagine freezing temperatures getting even freezier as you speed faster and faster through wind and clouds.
Shrinkage is no joke.
The next thing I would do is get myself all suited up and drive over to an isolated spot. Then, the real fun commences.
I’d start by flying up slowly, probably at nighttime so no one can see. First thing… Ohh… Just thought of this now, but I would also need to get a parachute. Forgot about the chances of plummeting to my death.
So, yes, parachute on and raising myself up into the sky. Ten feet, twenty, thirty and so on until I get us high up as possible. Then once I start feeling the air thin to the point of being unable to breathe, I’ll make my way down.
Throughout all this, I’m going to keep it on the down-low. Anyone who can suddenly fly is going to be dissected on an operating table for sure and there is added risk as I could even get picked up by radar. Imagine the military scrambling out their jets to intercept.
That would suck.
The first attempt is going to be height-only. Soon as I figure out how high I can go (with cannabis, even higher) I’ll then begin planning for horizontal flight and test my abilities with that. Likely on the next day, in a whole ‘nother area in case a series of satellites are going to be peeking down at the spot I once was. Who knows? One can’t be too careful.
In the morning, I’ll be sure to check out all the news I can for any mention of a flying man or object reported last night. Nothing? Great, flight is set.
The following evening, I would get a compass strapped onto my wrist, leave the cell phone in the car and ascend to below-radar height, which is around thirty measly feet according to this link here.
Alright, thirty feet up in the air with a compass strapped onto my wrist and I’m going to head to magnetic North, testing for how fast I can go. Faster than a speeding bullet? Great, it’ll give me more time to zip around.
North from where I am now is minimal in terms of tall objects. So it’ll be easy to go relatively undetected during the night in this direction. I’d fly as far North as possible with the goal of seeing Antarctica before heading back. Why there? Because aliens, that’s why.
Oh, and flat earth. Got to see if that ice wall is there or not. If it is, then… (gulps) I’ll come back again with a Go-Pro attached to my head and release the video anonymously on the web. Promise.
But, who knows how this journey will go. Who’s to say that I won’t be caught on radar flying around? What kind of detection technology does the military have exactly? If they pick me up on radar, can I then be tracked by satellite? This would definitely be an area of study I’d be putting time towards in order to find out.
So I made it to the North Pole safely and made it back safely (no ice wall, btw). Now what? Apparently I can fly wherever I want. But… as fun as flying might be, there is so much risk involved that I would be in a state of constant paranoia of being watched. Maybe a better idea would be to design something like this:
And then just blend right in as I go about my merrily way. Of course I’d have to come up with a better, non-humiliating name that doesn’t have Virgin on it.
But really, why don’t I design a VEHICLE that I can contain myself inside of? Maybe I don’t have to fly Superman-style, maybe I can fly as if I was sitting in a chair, right? If that’s the case then hellloooooo Unidentified Flying Object.
Yep, yep. That’s just brilliant. Not only can I fly around incognito, but anyone who sees me is going to think it’s just another UFO. Boring. There’s no flying man in that thing.
Picture that dude but with an aerodynamic shell around him, that’s the way to do it. But hey, I might mess with people and pull a stunt like this once or twice (or many times depending on how great the reactions are).
Now that I’ve got my “craft”, I can zip around the world seeing whatever I want without fear. Well, without as much fear since who knows if the Powers That Be has access to a laser like weapon that can shoot me down from the sky. Don’t want to end up like Flight 93 or this bloke:
Hmm. So the travel itch is going to get scratched nicely with this new ability. But it’s going to wear off at some point. Seen the pyramids, seen China, seen uhm… the top of Everest. Stonehenge, military conflicts, Syria, Iraq, Africa, etc. This could take years before I get bored, but what happens in the meantime? Do I keep my regular job? I’m still going to need money and scheduling an AirBnb is not going to be an option if my credit card is going to have a record of being in a place a zillion miles away from where I live. Can’t leave a weird looking paper trail like that.
And yes, what about normal everyday life? How would I live with a secret like this? Even telling one person is a no-no because heck, when was the last time you managed to keep an earth-shattering secret?
I’ve a feeling that I would then start a new career as the mysterious levitator. Kind of like a cross between David Blaine and this guy here, Special Head.
Once I make my fortune as an eccentric entertainer, that’s when I’ll uh… hmm. Film everything. Film myself flying from the ground, in the air, to all the places I’ve been and hope that’s enough proof because it’s all going on a USB drive to be locked inside of a safety deposit box that will be opened only after my death.
And then of course, the mainstream media is going to claim it was fake, anyways, which means I’ll have to demonstrate/tell my secret to one person at least. Sighs.
What special power would you want to have and how do you think your life would change?
Imagine that!
