Great question. I think the word “won’t” is more precise than “can’t”.

The answer I think is somewhere between faith (in being secure with one’s vulnerability and that everything will work out regardless) to being savvy enough to know not to confess your deepest thoughts and feelings to someone until similar levels of vulnerability has been shared.

I think it comes down to developing mutual respect first and knowing that it’s a progressive journey in allowing oneself to become fully vulnerable. Few people are willing to be vulnerable around complete strangers and we can collectively agree that it is a facet of ourselves worth protecting and being mindful of.

The best relationships are the ones where both people bare their raw feelings and emotions while feeling comfortable to do so. Which is why I think it’s not always wise to open oneself up so fully until some basic level of respect and trust is demonstrated.