“Expectations are just premeditated resentments.”

Nicely said. My favourite part of your article.

However, I’ve dated women who shared a similar mentality in that they continue to flirt and engage with other men while “dating” and not giving their full attention or interest.

It’s a juggling act to be managing multiple “applicants” and I think in this culture of instant gratification and delusional entitlement; people tend to treat others as they would a shiny new toy. Play for a bit, get bored, and off to play elsewhere. Then back again next week.

It’s not a great way to get to know someone when their attention is being diluted by a “competitor” and having to upstage or one-up that person however way we can.

Ideally, we should set expectations. Treat others as we want to be treated. I consider it disrespectful to be engaging with multiple (potential) partners and stringing everyone along with the promise of a monogamous relationship, which is why I try and give each person my full attention before going elsewhere.

Your approach sounds good for the ego, but bad for the soul. When would it move from dating to a relationship? The third date? What if the other person wants to continue dating and you don’t?

I think the less distracted we are, the better we’re able to focus. Sometimes good people slip between the cracks when we’re not paying them attention.