As a man, this concerns me because there is ample evidence to the contrary (in my experience as well as others) that women do not respect a vulnerable male when men are somewhat expected to be equanimitious, stoic and decisive when it comes to navigating an emotionally difficult situation.

In my gut, I do agree with the importance of mutual vulnerability in a relationship but on the surface, sharing traumas, fears and insecurities appears to diminish the perceived worth of a man. Especially when men are expected to conform to a particular set of characteristics that society/media has conditioned to be desirable.

While many women encourage vulnerability, I think it’s really an exercise in evaluating the worth of a man, indulging their own personal curiosities about his weaknesses and then mentally safeguarding themselves knowing that leverage exists that has the potential to cause damage when needed.

It’s a cynical perspective I admit, so I would welcome a rebuttal if you would be kind to provide it.